What I Wish I Had Known About Downwind SUP Foiling the Gorge
Tips, takeaways and a candid confession from a 53-year-old fledgling downwind SUP foiler. Brace …
Words by Eddy Patricelli
Photos by Bob Stawicki and Dan Gavere
THE CONFESSION
“Ditch the paddle. Grab a parawing. Stop torturing yourself.”
I’ve heard these sentiments all summer. Friends, loved ones, my own internal voices — a steady chorus of quit, quit, quit.
Today, quitting downwind SUP foiling is tempting. The river is churned; a mosh pit of motion. Twenty minutes in, and not a single ride on foil. I’m on my feet, but barely, all wobbles. A failed sobriety test in action. Sploosh.
I’m wasting a perfectly windy day. Energy surrounds me. Other wind sports surround me. Faster sports. Easier sports. Bright, colorful, whimsical, flowy sports. And me? I’m a bobbing bath toy, haltingly, hopelessly adrift. Sploosh.
The phrase, “It’s raining soup, and I’ve got a fork,” comes to mind, but my predicament on this river isn’t bad luck. I had my pick of spoons. I chose the fork. Yesterday, it was the right choice. I had flights. Moments of superhero status. Today, I came ready with my cape. So why does it feel like a diaper? Sploosh.
What is happening?
A silky swell unfurls – a runway for takeoff. Paddle, paddle, paddle! Zilch. No pop up onto foil. I lean over, gassed. Shake it off. Deep breaths. Reset. You’ve got this. Sploosh.
F— me!
Friends approach from upwind. All of ‘em in their 20s. All of ‘em on foil. Effortless motion crisscrossing; audible hoots and whoops. They fly by with words of encouragement, and glazed grins. They’re tapped into an energy source that appears endless, accessible and close. So close. They’re just a few feet away, soaring, smiling. These young, skilled, exceedingly nice …
a**holes. Every one of ‘em.
A buzzing startles me. I think bees, swarming bees. I duck, plant my paddle, and brace against it, as if it’s a cane. An old man hunched over his cane. This is what’s being captured on film by a drone that now hovers over me. I lift my hand toward the buzzing, middle finger raised and … Sploosh.
Enough. Quit. Give up.
Rising from the water, I spot the drone moving on. It climbs sharply, unnaturally, as if piloted by aliens. Tiny aliens. I imagine greenies with orange eyes in the cockpit. I envision their view of this river and its riders. Surely, I would be the first plucked. The meek. The vulnerable. The aliens would select me. Earth’s first specimen. Then a thought: I would welcome it.
Choose me. Take me. End this madness. Sploosh.
It’s tempting to share a turning point here. A magical session saving run with seismic payoffs. Perhaps I rise onto foil, make exquisite arcing turns, and catch up to my young friends. But that didn’t happen.
And that’s the heart of my confession: There are no fairytales in downwind SUP foiling. Its learning curve is not linear. The session detailed above wasn’t Day 1, nor week 1. The session followed a month of regular riding with tangible progress. Then – sploosh! I’m cursing friends, flipping off drones, and welcoming an alien abduction.
So why bother? Why downwind SUP foil? Thankfully, there’s more to this sport than its suffering – especially for mature, mortal riders. Namely, weight loss, turn-back-the-clock energy, and relief from chronic joint pain. I’ve found these things paddling.
Below is more on that, along with takeaways I wish I’d known from the start. Takeaways that combat the suffering, and keep me motivated to keep at it. But be warned: In downwind SUP foiling, a session of sploosh forever looms.
TAKEAWAYS I WISH I KNEW SOONER
Shuttling in the Gorge is Not Needed
For years, I thought downwind SUP foiling was out of reach for dads like me. Shuttles? Too many logistics; too much time. But when you’re learning SUP foiling, you’re not going far. Below are my no-shuttle routes at the Hatchery. Thanks to the river current, paddling back upwind (see orange) from my knees or in a prone position is surprisingly quick in winds under 25 mph.
No Shuttle Option #1
Hatchery: No Crowds
Dawn patrol, late evening or off season riding
No Shuttle Option #2
Hatchery: Crowded
Ride downwind, “The Basement”
No Shuttle Option #3
Hatchery: Crowded
Ride upwind, between Swell City and the Hatch
The Gustier the Winds, the Better
“Should’ve-been-here-an-hour-ago” winds are not my post-work enemy. And that is enormously refreshing. So long as the river swell remain present, gusty, all-or-nothing winds are awesome. Why? I’m never overpowered holding a paddle, and glass-off lulls offer an op to simply sit on my board, and let the river current carry me back upwind. No paddling needed.
Fatigue is Your Foe
Tips on paddling, pumping, linking swells — they helped me … eventually. But the tips that really made an impact early on prioritized one thing and one thing only: saving my energy. My takeaways –
Opt for Easy
As in, “easy” board and foil size. Before following friends’ advice to “go small”, ask yourself: Are these people really your friends? Misery loves company. SUP foiling’s learning curve is famously steep. Making it steeper is a recipe for session-stopping exhaustion. Worried you’ll outgrow a “big” board? Unless you’re young, fantastically fit, with endless free time, outgrowing a board quickly is unlikely. My setup for my 175 pounds is an Armstrong Downwind 115 liter board, and HA 1180 foil.
Be Selective, Maximize Your Moments
For weeks I’d hit the water, and blindly point my board dead downwind – drifting, wobbling, and waiting for a swell runway to appear. When a runway did finally arrive, all the wobbling that came prior had me too gassed to paddle hard. Success for me started by sitting down, looking upwind, and spotting a sequence of big whitecaps. Only then would I stand up, so I could attack with full energy.
Practice Paddle Bracing
Paddle bracing is not photogenic. But learning to use my paddle to save falls, and save energy sparked big breakthroughs. They started when a friend challenged me to maintain paddle contact with the water throughout my stroke — even as I reset it. The more my paddle became a support tool for stability, the more mobile I became. I could seek out swells, and better, get to them with full energy for takeoffs.
Progression in the Gorge is Not Linear Because …
Water levels, river currents, wind directions – all of ‘em affect how swell energy organizes on the river. I can’t detail the impacts of each variable. But I wish I knew of the severity of their impacts sooner. Cross chop, bumps lining your takeoff runway — one afternoon getting up onto foil is a breeze. I’ve got this! The next day, you can barely stand on your board. I suck. You don’t suck. Gorge variables are in play. Chin up.
MATURE TAKEAWAYS
The Paddle is My Gym
Weight loss, dramatic core strength gains, and balance improvements that transcend all sports. These are gains I felt within weeks of paddling regularly. Is learning to downwind SUP foil graceful? Nope. But it beats a treadmill at the gym. And I can practice all winter. See why.
From “It Feels Good” to “I Feel Good”
Standing on a downwind SUP foil board can feel like standing on a Yoga ball. Fast-twitch muscle fibers in the feet firing, correcting, bending at the knees, the waist. Yes, it can be miserable. Yet afterward, old age aches and pains faded for me. Back pain, knee pain — gone. So much so, my criteria for a session’s success shifted from how many times I popped up to how good I felt afterward. For me, the “afterward” has become as addictive as flight time on foil.
Friction Free
No pumping up a wing or kite. No rigging a sail. And absolutely no strings. I show up, grab my board and paddle and go. As in, let’s go! As a husband and dad whose every session entails a ticking clock, nothing beats hitting the water in seconds. And the exclamation point of downwind SUP foiling is knowing that I’m hitting the water. Gusty winds? Dying winds? Whatever. There’s swell on the water. I’m going. Period.
The Ultimate Carrot
All the wind sports I do attempt to replicate the feeling of surfing a wave. And all of ’em fall short. Close, but not quite. Downwind SUP foiling comes closest. The reading the water, anticipating its energy, and tapping it for takeoffs and turns. Even the paddling resonates to me as surfing. Soulful, effortless motion. A feeling as pure and joyful as riding an ocean wave. Right here on the river …
Eddy Patricelli is a co-owner of Big Winds. See why he thinks downwind SUP foiling is the best winter sport ever here. Find more of Bob Stawicki’s fantastic photography at iwasphotographed.com. Dan Gavere is an awesome downwind SUP foiling instructor. Reach him at dangavere.com/foil.
